The other day over chili spaghetti Hannah told me how much she liked her principal, but that she wasn't working now because she "went to the doctor, or something." The gym teacher had assumed her role. It caught me off guard that someone in school would actually like the principal. My principals were soul crushing trolls that wanted little to do with the students, unless they saw an opportunity for their humiliation.
My highschool and junior high principal (the same guy) was an aging lush, who spent the first half of the day in his office, and the second in a pub called Wolpert's. His greatest contribution to my education was banning shorts in school because they could be too distracting. Forget about the 100 degree weather distracting anyone. (Thanks Mr, Florio.) My elementary school principal was a wicked woman, who no doubt was the inspiration for several Disney movie villians. Her name was Miss Copeland, and I'll never forget my one encounter with her.
I was in the 4th grade eating lunch with my friends in the cafeteria. All was well until I offered to trade my Zagnut candy car for a fruit roll up. Fruit roll ups were still pretty new, and I had been unsuccessful in convincing my mom to buy them for me. I saw I golden opportunity to trade a whole candy bar for one little tiny fruit roll up. It was, and still is, my belief that trading your lunch is part of growing up in America. Well, the freedom hating Miss Copeland saw things quite differently.
She had been stalking me from behind. I didn't see her when I made my offer, but she made her presence known immediately. She began yelling at me, and shaking my arm grasping the Zagnut. She informed me that my mother had packed that item for me and me alone, and it was meant for only me to eat, and not to be foolishly bartered to another child. She dressed me down for about 3 minutes, then ordered me to remain standing while finishing my lunch at the table sobbing in front of my now stunned friends. Lunchtime seemed to last hours that day.
Now, I can understand the total humiliation of a nine year old for the crime of trading a wholesome sandwich for some junky M&M's, but candy for candy? My teacher came over to ask why I was so upset, but alas, I was inconsolible. I'm sure now that Miss Copeland doesn't remember our encounter, (hell, maybe she's dead) but it sure did leave an impression upon me. I really did believe that principals hated children for years. I guess that those who cannot do, teach, and those who cannot teach, become principals (or counselors).
Friday, June 02, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
If All The Hippies, Cut Off All Their Hair...
Found this kick ass blanket at the mall the other day. The indian guy running the place even gave me $5 off for no reason. I would have bought it any way, but of well. Whenever I think of Jimi, I recall the night me and Scott were cruisin' home in the Fairlane, and we kept saying, "No one in the entire world but us are cruising in a baby blue, 1961 Ford Fairlane 2 door post, jamming to Jimi fucking Hendrix right now," as If 6 were 9 blared in our ears.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Passwords, A Matter of Life... and Death
"Under NO circumstances use another's signon unless it is life and death, and then make sure you are backed by someone more in charge than you are." -I & T Guy in my condescending reprimand email.
(I'll try and keep that in mind when I really am in a life and death sitch.)
(I'll try and keep that in mind when I really am in a life and death sitch.)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
God, The Bulldozer
A while back I encountered a patient with an amazing story. He didn't talk too much about it, he was still in a little bit shock, so I got most of what happened from his chart. I swear that it is all true, and I am making none of it up.
This gentleman was cruising down the highway when he collapsed over the steering wheel, coming to a clumbsy stop in the grass at the side of the highway in a contruction zone. He was suffering what the lay person would call a heart attack, but what is usually referred to as a ventricular rhythm. He was dying, and quickly.
Well, of course this caused quite a stir among the workers at the site. They immediately began doing what they do best, standing around and staring. Luckily one person did have the sense to call 911. The chart stated that the workers observed that he wasn't moving, and was turning gray.
All of this commotion grabbed the attention of the individual operating the bulldozer that day. Now I'm not sure what the top speed of a bulldozer is but I figure that it can't be too quick even at full throttle, therefore can't be too hard to handle. Maybe it was wet out, I don't know, but what I do know is that this yay-hoo lost control of his bulldozer and crashed into the guy's truck. Now normally this would be categorized as "adding insult to injury," but it this case the jolt deployed the airbag, essentially administering a precordial thump, reviving the man. His heart popped back into rhythm, resuming the blood flow to his brain, saving his life.
Soon after, Air Care arrived, and took the man to where he lay when I met him. In the chart it stated that his heart had to be shocked back into rhythm 6, yes, 6 more times on the way to the hospital.
So, I ask you, just like the annoying billboards ask, "If You Died Today, Would God Run Into Your Car With a Bulldozer?"
This gentleman was cruising down the highway when he collapsed over the steering wheel, coming to a clumbsy stop in the grass at the side of the highway in a contruction zone. He was suffering what the lay person would call a heart attack, but what is usually referred to as a ventricular rhythm. He was dying, and quickly.
Well, of course this caused quite a stir among the workers at the site. They immediately began doing what they do best, standing around and staring. Luckily one person did have the sense to call 911. The chart stated that the workers observed that he wasn't moving, and was turning gray.
All of this commotion grabbed the attention of the individual operating the bulldozer that day. Now I'm not sure what the top speed of a bulldozer is but I figure that it can't be too quick even at full throttle, therefore can't be too hard to handle. Maybe it was wet out, I don't know, but what I do know is that this yay-hoo lost control of his bulldozer and crashed into the guy's truck. Now normally this would be categorized as "adding insult to injury," but it this case the jolt deployed the airbag, essentially administering a precordial thump, reviving the man. His heart popped back into rhythm, resuming the blood flow to his brain, saving his life.
Soon after, Air Care arrived, and took the man to where he lay when I met him. In the chart it stated that his heart had to be shocked back into rhythm 6, yes, 6 more times on the way to the hospital.
So, I ask you, just like the annoying billboards ask, "If You Died Today, Would God Run Into Your Car With a Bulldozer?"
Monday, May 15, 2006
3 Unrelated Items
Everytime I log onto my hotmail account on the right side of the screen is an ad for some toenail fungus medication that is really gross.
I read somewhere that it is nearly impossible to fold any size piece of paper in half seven times. I tried it a couple of times and it is pretty freaking hard.
And here's a picture of Scott's 56 because it is so bitchin.
Soon... the most amazing story about a patient I saw a while back. Don't worry, no names or dates.
I read somewhere that it is nearly impossible to fold any size piece of paper in half seven times. I tried it a couple of times and it is pretty freaking hard.
And here's a picture of Scott's 56 because it is so bitchin.
Soon... the most amazing story about a patient I saw a while back. Don't worry, no names or dates.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
The Dentist's Chair In The Basement
Talking to my brothers while on vacation, I was reminded of some of the various things that spent time in the basement of our house. Dad was always bringing things home, but instead of kittens or puppies, it was usually cast off items from the hospital he worked at.
One day we became the proud new owners of a used bumper pool table. I thought at first it was just a small pool table, but turns out it had all these mushroom like bumper things that made the game of pool impossible. I can't tell you how many shots would bounce out of the hole and back onto the table. We were later informed by my dad that the table's previous location was the psych ward. We were fascinated. "This table has been around crazy people!" we all would say. "Wow, how many crazies play pool?" we wondered aloud. Looking back, I believe that if you want to help someone regain their sanity, letting them play bumper pool is probably a bad idea.
The insane bumper table was later replaced by a regulation sized pool table. We were so excited. A real table, it was going to be awesome. These thoughts of joy were soon lost when we actually started to play pool. The slate was actually a piece of warped plywood, and after you the break, all of the balls would come to a rest against the same rail. It was a little like putt putt pool. Also hampering our efforts was the fact that the table took up 90% of the room, ensuring that the cue stick would always hit the wall on your backswing. But, we made the best of the situation.
Soon joining the warped pool table was a dental chair. Yes, a dental chair. The thing was huge, and weighed about 600 pounds. We recently asked my dad his reasoning behind bringing it home, and even he couldn't offer an acceptable explanation. We would sit in it, go up, go down, pretend to give each other root canals... it really wasn't as fun as it sounds. It stayed there until we moved to Florida. We asked my dad what he ultimately did with it. He said that he sold for about 100 bucks. We asked who he sold it to, and he said, "I don't know, some guy that wanted a dentist chair in his basement."
One day we became the proud new owners of a used bumper pool table. I thought at first it was just a small pool table, but turns out it had all these mushroom like bumper things that made the game of pool impossible. I can't tell you how many shots would bounce out of the hole and back onto the table. We were later informed by my dad that the table's previous location was the psych ward. We were fascinated. "This table has been around crazy people!" we all would say. "Wow, how many crazies play pool?" we wondered aloud. Looking back, I believe that if you want to help someone regain their sanity, letting them play bumper pool is probably a bad idea.
The insane bumper table was later replaced by a regulation sized pool table. We were so excited. A real table, it was going to be awesome. These thoughts of joy were soon lost when we actually started to play pool. The slate was actually a piece of warped plywood, and after you the break, all of the balls would come to a rest against the same rail. It was a little like putt putt pool. Also hampering our efforts was the fact that the table took up 90% of the room, ensuring that the cue stick would always hit the wall on your backswing. But, we made the best of the situation.
Soon joining the warped pool table was a dental chair. Yes, a dental chair. The thing was huge, and weighed about 600 pounds. We recently asked my dad his reasoning behind bringing it home, and even he couldn't offer an acceptable explanation. We would sit in it, go up, go down, pretend to give each other root canals... it really wasn't as fun as it sounds. It stayed there until we moved to Florida. We asked my dad what he ultimately did with it. He said that he sold for about 100 bucks. We asked who he sold it to, and he said, "I don't know, some guy that wanted a dentist chair in his basement."
Monday, May 08, 2006
My Quick Vacation
Went down to Mississippi to visit my dad and brothers this weekend. Had alot of fun. Even though we didn't ride atv's (Ryan's is on the fritz), we still got out and did a few things.
First thing I did when I hit town was buy a BB gun at the Wal-Mart. Although now I regret not buying the fully automatic model. I will use it to shoot at the ferrel cats that crawl all over my cars from the back window in my apartment. Don't worry, the BB's are these little plastic things, and I couldn't hit water from a boat with it.
Had the best steak I have eaten in a long time in a restaurant that resembled a shed inside and out. It was called the County Barn or something. (Thanks, dad.)
Here is a picture of my dad. He is using a set of jumper cables to try and pull down a dead tree limb. I was sure that hilarity would ensue, but alas, the tree would not give in, and he said he would just grab one of the many chainsaws laying around the place and finish it off later.
Had a lot of fun in Neil's Mustang. If you click here you can see a quick clip of us on the back roads. We had to let up because of an oncoming car. It's killer to ride in. I think everyone should have one.
Finally, here is the kind of thing that shows upon your camera when you leave it sitting around brothers.
First thing I did when I hit town was buy a BB gun at the Wal-Mart. Although now I regret not buying the fully automatic model. I will use it to shoot at the ferrel cats that crawl all over my cars from the back window in my apartment. Don't worry, the BB's are these little plastic things, and I couldn't hit water from a boat with it.
Had the best steak I have eaten in a long time in a restaurant that resembled a shed inside and out. It was called the County Barn or something. (Thanks, dad.)
Here is a picture of my dad. He is using a set of jumper cables to try and pull down a dead tree limb. I was sure that hilarity would ensue, but alas, the tree would not give in, and he said he would just grab one of the many chainsaws laying around the place and finish it off later.
Had a lot of fun in Neil's Mustang. If you click here you can see a quick clip of us on the back roads. We had to let up because of an oncoming car. It's killer to ride in. I think everyone should have one.
Finally, here is the kind of thing that shows upon your camera when you leave it sitting around brothers.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Pablo's Sales Guys
Well, had my camera all day today, but didn't see anything cool like a drug bust or crash happen. But, I did take my camera to my dinner with Hannah.
I went ahead and took a picture of the tool that was yelling repeatedly for our server's attention while we ordered from her. She finally glared over and told him to wait just a second. Even Hannah thought it was weird of him. If you look at the picture, he seems to think there is a discrepency on his bill. Doesn't he just look like the guy that would yell for your server's attention while you ordered? I think that a date rape charge may be in his history somewhere too. If you look closely, you can see a closed laptop. When we walked in he was doing some kind of power point presentation for two of his cronies. Don Pablo's is a great place to close a deal, I guess.
As you can tell from this pic, we enjoyed our chips anyway.
I went ahead and took a picture of the tool that was yelling repeatedly for our server's attention while we ordered from her. She finally glared over and told him to wait just a second. Even Hannah thought it was weird of him. If you look at the picture, he seems to think there is a discrepency on his bill. Doesn't he just look like the guy that would yell for your server's attention while you ordered? I think that a date rape charge may be in his history somewhere too. If you look closely, you can see a closed laptop. When we walked in he was doing some kind of power point presentation for two of his cronies. Don Pablo's is a great place to close a deal, I guess.
As you can tell from this pic, we enjoyed our chips anyway.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Digital Camera
I'm starting to carry my digital camera with me more as I drive. I'm doing this because I was waiting at the Edwards/Madison Ave intersection the other day and witnessed a high speed pursuit end at the brand new BP station.
I swore he was going to plow into me while I waited at the light. But instead a 3rd cop car cut him off at the exit. They all came running and screaming at the man with guns drawn. He didn't look too terrified or anything, kind of calm really. I still think about how cool of a picture that would have been.
Well, I'm off to work, with my camera in hand. I did hear that TI and his posse got into a gun battle last night on 75 and 4 of them are at my hospital. I'm wondering if I'll run into any of them today.
I swore he was going to plow into me while I waited at the light. But instead a 3rd cop car cut him off at the exit. They all came running and screaming at the man with guns drawn. He didn't look too terrified or anything, kind of calm really. I still think about how cool of a picture that would have been.
Well, I'm off to work, with my camera in hand. I did hear that TI and his posse got into a gun battle last night on 75 and 4 of them are at my hospital. I'm wondering if I'll run into any of them today.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Business Card Ass
I was browsing the tavern wench blog earlier, and couldn't help but notice how guys use their business cards as part of their arsenal to pick up women in bars. It seems to happen more often when an older guy is trying to score a much younger chick, maybe because most younger guys don't carry business cards.
I don't have a business card. Maybe I could make my own though. "C. Breedlove" it would read. "CEO, Cardiology/Drag Racing Division"
Ok, so what happens to these cards after Mr. Important hands them out? Well I know the fate of 2 of them. The one in the above mention bog wound up in a pasta dish, the other one? Well it fell into my hands.
Mr. Kundrata made his play on a girl here at work. He evidently works for Delta and the government or something. He's looking for someone younger (in this case 15 years younger) to fly around the world and to bear his children, because as he puts it "There are too many risks in a woman his age bearing a child." Or, as I would put it, "They'll probably be retarded." His closer, "Oh, did I tell you I met the Pope one day?" Yeah, we googled him and in his little hometown paper there was a story on the local that met the Pope.
Well, she didn't call him. Sad, I know. So I took a pic of his card with what I think is a great improvement that will surely bag him the 20 something girl of his dreams.
I don't have a business card. Maybe I could make my own though. "C. Breedlove" it would read. "CEO, Cardiology/Drag Racing Division"
Ok, so what happens to these cards after Mr. Important hands them out? Well I know the fate of 2 of them. The one in the above mention bog wound up in a pasta dish, the other one? Well it fell into my hands.
Mr. Kundrata made his play on a girl here at work. He evidently works for Delta and the government or something. He's looking for someone younger (in this case 15 years younger) to fly around the world and to bear his children, because as he puts it "There are too many risks in a woman his age bearing a child." Or, as I would put it, "They'll probably be retarded." His closer, "Oh, did I tell you I met the Pope one day?" Yeah, we googled him and in his little hometown paper there was a story on the local that met the Pope.
Well, she didn't call him. Sad, I know. So I took a pic of his card with what I think is a great improvement that will surely bag him the 20 something girl of his dreams.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Shelob Visits
This morning I was, getting ready for work when I looked up and saw a fairly large spider sliding down from the ceiling. I wasn't scared of the thing, but have been bitten before, I figured I'd rather not have it in my bathroom.
The problem was that I was in mid shower. So, I started flicking water up at it. After several attempts, I succeeded in forcing him to beat a retreat back up his strand. Only after about 3 or 4 inches back upwards, his resolve stiffened, and he started back down. I returned to flicking water again in between trying to finish my shower. It was: wash, flick-flick, rinse, flick-flick... I was trying my best to keep him in the air and out of my shoes.
This was working fine until I glanced around the curtain and noticed I was soaking my fresh roll of toilet paper and peppering a book that I had just bought, not to mention the clothes I had set out to put on.
So, I finished my shower, leaned out, grabbed the Dave Chappelle edition of Esquire, rolled it up, and whacked his ass... right towards my clean clothes. I thought, "Fuck, why does this shit always happen to me?" A debate raged in my head on whether I had hit it hard enough to kill it, or just stun it, or just piss it off. Taking no chances, now running a little behind schedule, I shook the hell out of all of my clothes before I put them on.
So far, I haven't felt any bites or anything, so maybe Chappelle got the job done.
The problem was that I was in mid shower. So, I started flicking water up at it. After several attempts, I succeeded in forcing him to beat a retreat back up his strand. Only after about 3 or 4 inches back upwards, his resolve stiffened, and he started back down. I returned to flicking water again in between trying to finish my shower. It was: wash, flick-flick, rinse, flick-flick... I was trying my best to keep him in the air and out of my shoes.
This was working fine until I glanced around the curtain and noticed I was soaking my fresh roll of toilet paper and peppering a book that I had just bought, not to mention the clothes I had set out to put on.
So, I finished my shower, leaned out, grabbed the Dave Chappelle edition of Esquire, rolled it up, and whacked his ass... right towards my clean clothes. I thought, "Fuck, why does this shit always happen to me?" A debate raged in my head on whether I had hit it hard enough to kill it, or just stun it, or just piss it off. Taking no chances, now running a little behind schedule, I shook the hell out of all of my clothes before I put them on.
So far, I haven't felt any bites or anything, so maybe Chappelle got the job done.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Waterfall Update
My on again, off again relationship with the office building waterfall continues.
I noticed yesterday that it didn't sound like it was pouring cats and dogs outside. I looked out, and the huge waterfall across the street had been turned off. Evidently, Hyde Park residents DO NOT tolerate their cars getting doused by a fake office building waterfall for long.
Now, if you want to tear down local neighborhoods...
I noticed yesterday that it didn't sound like it was pouring cats and dogs outside. I looked out, and the huge waterfall across the street had been turned off. Evidently, Hyde Park residents DO NOT tolerate their cars getting doused by a fake office building waterfall for long.
Now, if you want to tear down local neighborhoods...
I Think My Brothers Are Too Funny
"Neil says that I talk about work too much, but I'm going to anyway."-Ryan B.
Who The Hell Steals a Dog?
It all started just the other day, when I noticed that the grass out in front of my apartment was getting obnoxiously high. I mean, like a foot tall.
So I called the landlord's assistant, Rosemary, and asked if the maintenance guy, John, was going to cut the grass. I also inquired about the status of him installing my window unit a/c. (I had requested the a/c be installed a week or so ago, but made the mistake of mentioning that it wasn't anything urgent.) She informed me that he was getting around to it, and that the grass would be cut soon. I was really trying to not be that pain in the ass renter, but the grass was embarrassingly high. So high, that I had noticed that the neighbors had stopped letting their dog go to the bathroom in it for what I thought was a fear of losing it in the brush. This was a little bit of a good thing, I didn't have to warn Hannah about the turds normally awaiting her arrival to my place.
Later that day I came home to the sound of a lawn mower hacking it's way through the 5x20 patch of grass that posed as our front yard. My cordial wave hello was returned by what I swear was a dirty look. I stopped and said hi to my dog loving neighbors on my way up. They assumed that I was the one who called and "got John out there" to mow. I told them that it was crazy high, and that they couldn't even let there dog out the front anymore, and that's when they dropped the bomb...
Someone had stolen their dog, and that is why I hadn't seen it in the front yard lately. My neighbors choked up as they related the story to me. Evidently, Larry had walked with his beloved poodle down to the Speedway to get some cigs. As he was inside, someone picked up the dog and ran off with it. I glanced over at Chris and noticed how pained he was. I'm not really a dog lover, but this really angered me. Who would steal someone's dog? It wasn't some pure bred or anything, just a cute little poodle. I looked Larry in the eye and said, "If I ever find out who stole Buttercup, I will kick their ass." And I meant it.
I walked up the stairs and proceeded to install the a/c my damn self. I figure that if the unit falls out window and onto one of the ever smiling Mexican guys that live next door, that's the landlord's fault.
So I called the landlord's assistant, Rosemary, and asked if the maintenance guy, John, was going to cut the grass. I also inquired about the status of him installing my window unit a/c. (I had requested the a/c be installed a week or so ago, but made the mistake of mentioning that it wasn't anything urgent.) She informed me that he was getting around to it, and that the grass would be cut soon. I was really trying to not be that pain in the ass renter, but the grass was embarrassingly high. So high, that I had noticed that the neighbors had stopped letting their dog go to the bathroom in it for what I thought was a fear of losing it in the brush. This was a little bit of a good thing, I didn't have to warn Hannah about the turds normally awaiting her arrival to my place.
Later that day I came home to the sound of a lawn mower hacking it's way through the 5x20 patch of grass that posed as our front yard. My cordial wave hello was returned by what I swear was a dirty look. I stopped and said hi to my dog loving neighbors on my way up. They assumed that I was the one who called and "got John out there" to mow. I told them that it was crazy high, and that they couldn't even let there dog out the front anymore, and that's when they dropped the bomb...
Someone had stolen their dog, and that is why I hadn't seen it in the front yard lately. My neighbors choked up as they related the story to me. Evidently, Larry had walked with his beloved poodle down to the Speedway to get some cigs. As he was inside, someone picked up the dog and ran off with it. I glanced over at Chris and noticed how pained he was. I'm not really a dog lover, but this really angered me. Who would steal someone's dog? It wasn't some pure bred or anything, just a cute little poodle. I looked Larry in the eye and said, "If I ever find out who stole Buttercup, I will kick their ass." And I meant it.
I walked up the stairs and proceeded to install the a/c my damn self. I figure that if the unit falls out window and onto one of the ever smiling Mexican guys that live next door, that's the landlord's fault.
Monday, April 24, 2006
More background people
Here's a new picture of Hannah with her cousing Taylor. I took them to Skyline the other day. I am again also interested in the local West Chester resident in the background. I think that he is either getting ready to enjoy an oyster cracker, or is kind of sad or something.
Don't Go Chasin' Waterfalls...
The other day I was really bummed because it was raining and I couldn't take my old car out for a ride to see if all the work I had done on it was still holding up. When I got home from work it wasn't raining too hard just sprinkling really, but after a while it was just pouring. I laid on my couch and just watched tv.
Well, after an hour or so of pouring rain, I looked out the window, and it didn't look like it was raining at all. I went out front and noticed that the sound that I took as a steady soaking rain was really just the office building's new waterfall that they had started up. I felt duped. The water actually gets blown off the faux rocks and onto the cars sitting at the stoplight, which is unfortunate, because the light takes about 20 minutes to turn green.
You can barely make out the water fall in this picture, they turn on these blue lights at night.
I have been told that I am lucky, and that it's like I have my own personal waterfall in my front yard, but I can't help but remember how we got off on the wrong foot.
Well, after an hour or so of pouring rain, I looked out the window, and it didn't look like it was raining at all. I went out front and noticed that the sound that I took as a steady soaking rain was really just the office building's new waterfall that they had started up. I felt duped. The water actually gets blown off the faux rocks and onto the cars sitting at the stoplight, which is unfortunate, because the light takes about 20 minutes to turn green.
You can barely make out the water fall in this picture, they turn on these blue lights at night.
I have been told that I am lucky, and that it's like I have my own personal waterfall in my front yard, but I can't help but remember how we got off on the wrong foot.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Fairlane Update
Well, after many hours, a few cuss words, and even a few prayers, the big Ford is on her feet again. Overall, things went pretty smoothly. Nothing outrageous happened, and me and Scott got along great during the whole build. I've posted a few pictures to show the progress.
Here's Scott working on the new motor. If you look closely in the left of the picture is Harry. Harry is Scott's 80 year old neighbor who would periodically stop by and offer his "encouragement". Well, it was more like criticism or tough love. He is a really nice guy who evidently is sick and tired of how the local kids drive way to fast down his alley. Oh, and he swears he saw a pack of 15 (yes 15) cats last night in the same alley, and a single white squirrel in his front yard one day. We were really glad that he wasn't around when we had to pull the radiator back out to install the fan because we figured he'd say, "Well, I would never had made that mistake."
Here's me checking out the motor before we try and fire it up. It took a little bit of tweaking, but once the distributor was dailed in, it started right up. I was very relieved. Then, after 3 seconds, it died. After a quick check, I realized that I hadn't hooked up the fuel line.
Finally up and running, late into the night. But so far worth all the work. Oh, and yeah, I took off the bumper, problem with that??
Here's Scott working on the new motor. If you look closely in the left of the picture is Harry. Harry is Scott's 80 year old neighbor who would periodically stop by and offer his "encouragement". Well, it was more like criticism or tough love. He is a really nice guy who evidently is sick and tired of how the local kids drive way to fast down his alley. Oh, and he swears he saw a pack of 15 (yes 15) cats last night in the same alley, and a single white squirrel in his front yard one day. We were really glad that he wasn't around when we had to pull the radiator back out to install the fan because we figured he'd say, "Well, I would never had made that mistake."
Here's me checking out the motor before we try and fire it up. It took a little bit of tweaking, but once the distributor was dailed in, it started right up. I was very relieved. Then, after 3 seconds, it died. After a quick check, I realized that I hadn't hooked up the fuel line.
Finally up and running, late into the night. But so far worth all the work. Oh, and yeah, I took off the bumper, problem with that??
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Kabaka, what a wookie...
I heard that there was a shooting outside of city hall yesterday, but I'm pretty sure that it was just teenagers popping balloons.
Oh yeah. Rumor has it that the guy that shot him was spotted in the hospital yesterday around 4:30 looking to finish the guy off. There were about 50 police officers around here about that time.
Oh yeah. Rumor has it that the guy that shot him was spotted in the hospital yesterday around 4:30 looking to finish the guy off. There were about 50 police officers around here about that time.
Adrenaline Flunkie
A while back I watched an episode of "Jack Osbourne- Adrenaline Junkie." This kid couldn't run 40 feet without being gassed, but he was training to climb some mountain somewhere. Well, to get into shape, he decides to dip his toe into Mui Thai boxing. Now if you didn't know, that is a great way to get your ass kicked in a hurry if you don't know what you are doing (and he doesn't).
Well, I decided that it would be cool to see him get his ass served to him, so I stuck with it. The guy he was fighting was this older dude with a record of 150-30 or something. The old guy punched pretty hard, but rocked the Mui Thai muffin top.
Finally, they fought, and I swear, to my bitter disappointment the old guy took a dive. I felt ripped off. But I envied the guy for playing along. I doubt he had any real idea who Jack was. Maybe he would have dropped him if he had known, though.
Here's Jack in training. Things didn't look like they'd go his way, I thought.
Here's the fight. Jack looks in better shape, the other guy is a little chubby, but I would still figure he'd kick his ass. Jack just touched him on the chin, and down he went, kind of smirking I thought. An hour of build up for that. Note the 'hawk.
Oh well. I never saw another episode. I figured that if he couldn't climb the mountain, they'd just helicopter his ass up there like he did it anyway.
Well, I decided that it would be cool to see him get his ass served to him, so I stuck with it. The guy he was fighting was this older dude with a record of 150-30 or something. The old guy punched pretty hard, but rocked the Mui Thai muffin top.
Finally, they fought, and I swear, to my bitter disappointment the old guy took a dive. I felt ripped off. But I envied the guy for playing along. I doubt he had any real idea who Jack was. Maybe he would have dropped him if he had known, though.
Here's Jack in training. Things didn't look like they'd go his way, I thought.
Here's the fight. Jack looks in better shape, the other guy is a little chubby, but I would still figure he'd kick his ass. Jack just touched him on the chin, and down he went, kind of smirking I thought. An hour of build up for that. Note the 'hawk.
Oh well. I never saw another episode. I figured that if he couldn't climb the mountain, they'd just helicopter his ass up there like he did it anyway.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Soccer Day, AKA: A 7 Year Old's Weekly Nightmare
I believe that the West Chester Soccer League's rule book mentions somewhere to never cancel a game no matter what Mother Nature throws at them. They will play in any condition; rain, snow, 20 degree weather with 50mph winds... The latter is the category that last Saturday fell into.
My seven year little girl however, does not share their dedication. The warmth we felt in the truck tricked her into getting her soccer equipment on and out onto the field. She immediately knew that this just wasn't her bag, and it was a struggle to keep her in the game. She did eventually finish, and played one of her better games.
Here she is in the line where they do drills. I think you can tell she is just moments from running off and towards me. Out 100 girls that showed up that day, she hath protest the loudest of all of them about being made to play in the cold. Keep it real, girl.
Here is a picture I took afterwards at Steak n' Shake. I'm just fascinated by the snarling kid that happened to be in the background.
My seven year little girl however, does not share their dedication. The warmth we felt in the truck tricked her into getting her soccer equipment on and out onto the field. She immediately knew that this just wasn't her bag, and it was a struggle to keep her in the game. She did eventually finish, and played one of her better games.
Here she is in the line where they do drills. I think you can tell she is just moments from running off and towards me. Out 100 girls that showed up that day, she hath protest the loudest of all of them about being made to play in the cold. Keep it real, girl.
Here is a picture I took afterwards at Steak n' Shake. I'm just fascinated by the snarling kid that happened to be in the background.
The Fairlane Project
Well, after many miles and many cases of oil, the motor in the Fairlane finally started to give out. It spun a bearing, and if you don't know what that means, don't worry, just hope it doesn't happen to you.
But, me and my friend Scott have chosen to rebuild the old girl, and with lots of luck, and probably just as much cash, hopefully she'll be up on her feet again in no time. I have chosen to document the procedure here, and hopefully it will end in success, not like that show on TLC the other day "Face Eating Tumor," where they flashed a 3 second screen of text coldly letting me know that the kid died like 5 days after the cameras left.
Here I am looking over the hurt motor one last time before we get started. Can you tell that I am just a littled saddened?
Fast forward 3 hours, and here I am at the controls of the hoist, lifting the engine out of the car. I'm trying not to scratch anything, but that's the way it goes, Lefty.
The end of day one. The motor is out, and the Fairlane awaits her new heart. Hopefully the one we have runs right, or it's going to be a long couple of weeks.
But, me and my friend Scott have chosen to rebuild the old girl, and with lots of luck, and probably just as much cash, hopefully she'll be up on her feet again in no time. I have chosen to document the procedure here, and hopefully it will end in success, not like that show on TLC the other day "Face Eating Tumor," where they flashed a 3 second screen of text coldly letting me know that the kid died like 5 days after the cameras left.
Here I am looking over the hurt motor one last time before we get started. Can you tell that I am just a littled saddened?
Fast forward 3 hours, and here I am at the controls of the hoist, lifting the engine out of the car. I'm trying not to scratch anything, but that's the way it goes, Lefty.
The end of day one. The motor is out, and the Fairlane awaits her new heart. Hopefully the one we have runs right, or it's going to be a long couple of weeks.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
T9
Just learned T9 text messaging. It may change my life. Or save me a few minutes a day. Check it out.
www.t9.com
www.t9.com
Down with the ATL
So, decided to go down to Newport on the Levee Friday to enjoy some gourmet pizza. Hilarity ensued.
As I sat on the bench waiting for a seat at Dewey's, a slow tidal wave of teenagers started surrounding me and the bench I was sitting on. They would jump on the benches around us yelling at their friends below and above, and get into constant playful shoving matches with the opposite sex. I believe I counted 100 pairs of Timberlands, and an equal amount of jerseys. I also noticed several girls awkwardly learning how to walk in heels on the fly.
I felt a little bit like when I'm in a cramped elevator. I didn't feel threatened or anything, just crowded. So I decided to wait in the restaurant for my seat. A few minutes later, the crowd started screaming and yelling. A fight had obviously broken out on the lower level. It seemed to go on for a long time, so I decided to walk out to the railing and check out the fun and see how the mall security had decided to deal with it. Two steps out of the place that "takes pizza to the next level" a huge BANG!! rang out, and the fun was over. Pandemonium ruled. Screaming teenagers ran by me, looking for safety in the stores. A large lady scooped up her two dazed kids under each arm, running in place, looking for somewhere to hide. I eyed her now vacant seats at the bar. I thought better of it and followed the store employees into the back room. Two hostesses were in tears. I looked down, and two teenagers were on the ground, alternately laughing hysterically, and crying. One kept saying "Why people gotta be stupid?" I said, "I don't know," as I looked around the corner to see if the large lady's spot at the bar was still open.
Things gradually simmered down, and the big lady reclaimed her seats. After waiting about an hour or so for a seat, I finally got to order my Hawaiian pizza. I was disappointed that they didn't put cinnamon on it. I asked the server if the Levee was always like this now, and she promised me it wasn't as another fight broke out down the stairs from where our seat was. She explained that it was the premiere of T.I.'s movie, "ATL" and that it was also the first day of spring break. She also told us that "Ice Age" was also premiering that night.
A third fight erupted down the hall on my way back to the parking lot. I figured Starbucks was out of the question.
I heard the next day that authorities were claiming that someone had popped a balloon at the mall, and that was the sound I heard. I remember being at Applebee's a couple of times when balloons have "gone off" and I don't remember patrons screaming for their lives, running for the exits. I also don't recall a clown face painting and twisting balloons into kitten shapes at the Levee that night. I have heard balloons pop, and I have heard gun shots, and that sound was no balloon. But what do I know, mall security guards are the experts, right?
Thursday, March 30, 2006
The Oakley Laundromat
Included in the sights of the Oakley Laundromat are the cliffhanging cigarettes that bravely dangle from the lips of the ladies who work there. I am always curious about what people think when they receive their "clean" clothes and they smell like a pack of smoked Basics. "That's what they get," is what I think to myself.
Here is the sign posted on the dryers used at the 'mat. I always thought this sign was a little unnecessary, but after stopping and looking around at my fellow patrons, maybe it isn't such a bad idea.
Here is my laundry, obediently tumbling away. If you look closely, you can see the 3 year old and his puppy that I forgot to take out of the dryer before I started my load.
And finally, here is the vending machine that stole my dollar.
Here is the sign posted on the dryers used at the 'mat. I always thought this sign was a little unnecessary, but after stopping and looking around at my fellow patrons, maybe it isn't such a bad idea.
Here is my laundry, obediently tumbling away. If you look closely, you can see the 3 year old and his puppy that I forgot to take out of the dryer before I started my load.
And finally, here is the vending machine that stole my dollar.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Wet shoes and broken glass
Behind my house where I grew up was a small creek that served as the official playground of me and my brothers. It also doubled as a great place for the stupid to get into trouble.
I was down in the creek throwing rocks at things my brother placed on the wall of the bridge above me. He would warn me when cars would be coming by, and I would wait and then resume throwing rocks over the bridge. Well, the patience of an 8 year old wears thin in a hurry, and I started cutting my throws closer and closer as cars drove past.
He warned me of a van coming, but I threw anyway. My rock sailed high, and I heard the most sickening sound a kid throwing rocks could imagine, breaking glass. Back then, I wasn't one for facing the consequences of my actions (or now, some would argue), so I turned and bolted, leaving my brother stranded on the bridge. I figured he could handle himself, and if we split up, they'd never catch us both.
I ran through the creek and back towards the woods as fast as I could. I risked a sprained ankle with every step. My shoes were starting to get soaked with creek water, something which my mother would surely kill me for if the van people didn't beat her to it. Oddly, John Couger's "Hurt So Good" sprung into my head as I continued on. (It was the big song of the day.)
The fate of my brother weighed upon me as I cut through the back of the Marsh grocery store that housed the Pac Man machine. I also wondered how much damage I had caused the van. Was it the headlight? The windshield? Surely they were taking out their wrath on my poor brother. I prayed that he had ran and escaped, and was not in the hands of the same authorities that hassled me for my firework display earlier in the year.
Pouring sweat, I returned home. I was exhausted, and my shoes were still soaked. There were no cruisers in the driveway, a good sign. I slowly opened the screen door and poked my head inside. I spotted my brother sitting on the couch enjoying cartoons with a bowl of cereal in his lap. I asked, "What happened?! How'd you get away? Did you run?!" To which he replied, "Naaaah. They just kept drivin'."
Monday, January 30, 2006
Chipotle Tried To Kill Me
If what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, then I should be freaking bullet proof.
It started Thursday night while watching Mystic River on HBO. Since they seem to show the same movies on a continuous loop, I figured I could swing by Chipotle and come back and watch what I missed. I mean it's soooo f'ing obvious that Tim Robbins killed that poor girl, jeez.
So, I got behind the the most annoying couple in Hyde Park (and that's saying something) and settled in for my burrito order. Those two were so demanding and weird, I wanted to throw a basketball at their heads before I got to the cheese section of the line. The normal girl in front of me even stated that she was "flustered" when she paid her tab. So it's not just me, ok?
Anyway. So I enjoyed half my burrito and put the other half away for lunch the next day. That was at about 8:30pm. Well, I might as well have eaten uranium. I woke up at 2, 3, and then finally at 4:30am, and, well, I'll spare you the details. It's not what you think though, my stomach was thrown into reverse.
Well, I had thrown up for the first time in years. I experienced that 5 minute period after barfing that you feel pretty good, and then started feeling like hell again. My stomach just kept burning. I had to call into work, and I'm still not completely over it yet. I even briefly thought about having the uneaten half of my burrito analyzed at some lab that does that kind of thing.
And whaaa? Robbins DIDN'T kill her??? I'm seeing 6 figures, Chipotle.
It started Thursday night while watching Mystic River on HBO. Since they seem to show the same movies on a continuous loop, I figured I could swing by Chipotle and come back and watch what I missed. I mean it's soooo f'ing obvious that Tim Robbins killed that poor girl, jeez.
So, I got behind the the most annoying couple in Hyde Park (and that's saying something) and settled in for my burrito order. Those two were so demanding and weird, I wanted to throw a basketball at their heads before I got to the cheese section of the line. The normal girl in front of me even stated that she was "flustered" when she paid her tab. So it's not just me, ok?
Anyway. So I enjoyed half my burrito and put the other half away for lunch the next day. That was at about 8:30pm. Well, I might as well have eaten uranium. I woke up at 2, 3, and then finally at 4:30am, and, well, I'll spare you the details. It's not what you think though, my stomach was thrown into reverse.
Well, I had thrown up for the first time in years. I experienced that 5 minute period after barfing that you feel pretty good, and then started feeling like hell again. My stomach just kept burning. I had to call into work, and I'm still not completely over it yet. I even briefly thought about having the uneaten half of my burrito analyzed at some lab that does that kind of thing.
And whaaa? Robbins DIDN'T kill her??? I'm seeing 6 figures, Chipotle.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Wedding Crashers Sucked
I rented Wedding Crashers last night. I didn't get past the 16 minute mark. I was told this movie was hilarious. Since when is dancing with old ladies and eating cake with your mouth open funny? I turned it off and watched CSI.
Oh, and for some reason whenever I go to Blockbuster a message pops up that my account is on hold. They then call the North College Hill store and they tell them that it is a mistake. This has happened about 10 times. I told them to call them and cuss them out for me, but they refuse to do so. North College Hill never has an explanation for this, they just say to remove the hold. But, it always pops up again.
Anyone have a movie to recommend? Let me know.
Oh, and for some reason whenever I go to Blockbuster a message pops up that my account is on hold. They then call the North College Hill store and they tell them that it is a mistake. This has happened about 10 times. I told them to call them and cuss them out for me, but they refuse to do so. North College Hill never has an explanation for this, they just say to remove the hold. But, it always pops up again.
Anyone have a movie to recommend? Let me know.
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