So, decided to go down to Newport on the Levee Friday to enjoy some gourmet pizza. Hilarity ensued.
As I sat on the bench waiting for a seat at Dewey's, a slow tidal wave of teenagers started surrounding me and the bench I was sitting on. They would jump on the benches around us yelling at their friends below and above, and get into constant playful shoving matches with the opposite sex. I believe I counted 100 pairs of Timberlands, and an equal amount of jerseys. I also noticed several girls awkwardly learning how to walk in heels on the fly.
I felt a little bit like when I'm in a cramped elevator. I didn't feel threatened or anything, just crowded. So I decided to wait in the restaurant for my seat. A few minutes later, the crowd started screaming and yelling. A fight had obviously broken out on the lower level. It seemed to go on for a long time, so I decided to walk out to the railing and check out the fun and see how the mall security had decided to deal with it. Two steps out of the place that "takes pizza to the next level" a huge BANG!! rang out, and the fun was over. Pandemonium ruled. Screaming teenagers ran by me, looking for safety in the stores. A large lady scooped up her two dazed kids under each arm, running in place, looking for somewhere to hide. I eyed her now vacant seats at the bar. I thought better of it and followed the store employees into the back room. Two hostesses were in tears. I looked down, and two teenagers were on the ground, alternately laughing hysterically, and crying. One kept saying "Why people gotta be stupid?" I said, "I don't know," as I looked around the corner to see if the large lady's spot at the bar was still open.
Things gradually simmered down, and the big lady reclaimed her seats. After waiting about an hour or so for a seat, I finally got to order my Hawaiian pizza. I was disappointed that they didn't put cinnamon on it. I asked the server if the Levee was always like this now, and she promised me it wasn't as another fight broke out down the stairs from where our seat was. She explained that it was the premiere of T.I.'s movie, "ATL" and that it was also the first day of spring break. She also told us that "Ice Age" was also premiering that night.
A third fight erupted down the hall on my way back to the parking lot. I figured Starbucks was out of the question.
I heard the next day that authorities were claiming that someone had popped a balloon at the mall, and that was the sound I heard. I remember being at Applebee's a couple of times when balloons have "gone off" and I don't remember patrons screaming for their lives, running for the exits. I also don't recall a clown face painting and twisting balloons into kitten shapes at the Levee that night. I have heard balloons pop, and I have heard gun shots, and that sound was no balloon. But what do I know, mall security guards are the experts, right?
