If All The Hippies, Cut Off All Their Hair...

Found this kick ass blanket at the mall the other day. The indian guy running the place even gave me $5 off for no reason. I would have bought it any way, but of well. Whenever I think of Jimi, I recall the night me and Scott were cruisin' home in the Fairlane, and we kept saying, "No one in the entire world but us are cruising in a baby blue, 1961 Ford Fairlane 2 door post, jamming to Jimi fucking Hendrix right now," as If 6 were 9 blared in our ears.

Passwords, A Matter of Life... and Death

"Under NO circumstances use another's signon unless it is life and death, and then make sure you are backed by someone more in charge than you are." -I & T Guy in my condescending reprimand email.
(I'll try and keep that in mind when I really am in a life and death sitch.)

God, The Bulldozer

A while back I encountered a patient with an amazing story. He didn't talk too much about it, he was still in a little bit shock, so I got most of what happened from his chart. I swear that it is all true, and I am making none of it up.

This gentleman was cruising down the highway when he collapsed over the steering wheel, coming to a clumbsy stop in the grass at the side of the highway in a contruction zone. He was suffering what the lay person would call a heart attack, but what is usually referred to as a ventricular rhythm. He was dying, and quickly.

Well, of course this caused quite a stir among the workers at the site. They immediately began doing what they do best, standing around and staring. Luckily one person did have the sense to call 911. The chart stated that the workers observed that he wasn't moving, and was turning gray.

All of this commotion grabbed the attention of the individual operating the bulldozer that day. Now I'm not sure what the top speed of a bulldozer is but I figure that it can't be too quick even at full throttle, therefore can't be too hard to handle. Maybe it was wet out, I don't know, but what I do know is that this yay-hoo lost control of his bulldozer and crashed into the guy's truck. Now normally this would be categorized as "adding insult to injury," but it this case the jolt deployed the airbag, essentially administering a precordial thump, reviving the man. His heart popped back into rhythm, resuming the blood flow to his brain, saving his life.

Soon after, Air Care arrived, and took the man to where he lay when I met him. In the chart it stated that his heart had to be shocked back into rhythm 6, yes, 6 more times on the way to the hospital.

So, I ask you, just like the annoying billboards ask, "If You Died Today, Would God Run Into Your Car With a Bulldozer?"

3 Unrelated Items

Everytime I log onto my hotmail account on the right side of the screen is an ad for some toenail fungus medication that is really gross.

I read somewhere that it is nearly impossible to fold any size piece of paper in half seven times. I tried it a couple of times and it is pretty freaking hard.

And here's a picture of Scott's 56 because it is so bitchin.

Soon... the most amazing story about a patient I saw a while back. Don't worry, no names or dates.

The Dentist's Chair In The Basement

Talking to my brothers while on vacation, I was reminded of some of the various things that spent time in the basement of our house. Dad was always bringing things home, but instead of kittens or puppies, it was usually cast off items from the hospital he worked at.

One day we became the proud new owners of a used bumper pool table. I thought at first it was just a small pool table, but turns out it had all these mushroom like bumper things that made the game of pool impossible. I can't tell you how many shots would bounce out of the hole and back onto the table. We were later informed by my dad that the table's previous location was the psych ward. We were fascinated. "This table has been around crazy people!" we all would say. "Wow, how many crazies play pool?" we wondered aloud. Looking back, I believe that if you want to help someone regain their sanity, letting them play bumper pool is probably a bad idea.

The insane bumper table was later replaced by a regulation sized pool table. We were so excited. A real table, it was going to be awesome. These thoughts of joy were soon lost when we actually started to play pool. The slate was actually a piece of warped plywood, and after you the break, all of the balls would come to a rest against the same rail. It was a little like putt putt pool. Also hampering our efforts was the fact that the table took up 90% of the room, ensuring that the cue stick would always hit the wall on your backswing. But, we made the best of the situation.

Soon joining the warped pool table was a dental chair. Yes, a dental chair. The thing was huge, and weighed about 600 pounds. We recently asked my dad his reasoning behind bringing it home, and even he couldn't offer an acceptable explanation. We would sit in it, go up, go down, pretend to give each other root canals... it really wasn't as fun as it sounds. It stayed there until we moved to Florida. We asked my dad what he ultimately did with it. He said that he sold for about 100 bucks. We asked who he sold it to, and he said, "I don't know, some guy that wanted a dentist chair in his basement."

My Quick Vacation

Went down to Mississippi to visit my dad and brothers this weekend. Had alot of fun. Even though we didn't ride atv's (Ryan's is on the fritz), we still got out and did a few things.

First thing I did when I hit town was buy a BB gun at the Wal-Mart. Although now I regret not buying the fully automatic model. I will use it to shoot at the ferrel cats that crawl all over my cars from the back window in my apartment. Don't worry, the BB's are these little plastic things, and I couldn't hit water from a boat with it.

Had the best steak I have eaten in a long time in a restaurant that resembled a shed inside and out. It was called the County Barn or something. (Thanks, dad.)

Here is a picture of my dad. He is using a set of jumper cables to try and pull down a dead tree limb. I was sure that hilarity would ensue, but alas, the tree would not give in, and he said he would just grab one of the many chainsaws laying around the place and finish it off later.

Had a lot of fun in Neil's Mustang. If you click here you can see a quick clip of us on the back roads. We had to let up because of an oncoming car. It's killer to ride in. I think everyone should have one.

Finally, here is the kind of thing that shows upon your camera when you leave it sitting around brothers.

Pablo's Sales Guys

Well, had my camera all day today, but didn't see anything cool like a drug bust or crash happen. But, I did take my camera to my dinner with Hannah.

I went ahead and took a picture of the tool that was yelling repeatedly for our server's attention while we ordered from her. She finally glared over and told him to wait just a second. Even Hannah thought it was weird of him. If you look at the picture, he seems to think there is a discrepency on his bill. Doesn't he just look like the guy that would yell for your server's attention while you ordered? I think that a date rape charge may be in his history somewhere too. If you look closely, you can see a closed laptop. When we walked in he was doing some kind of power point presentation for two of his cronies. Don Pablo's is a great place to close a deal, I guess.















As you can tell from this pic, we enjoyed our chips anyway.

Digital Camera

I'm starting to carry my digital camera with me more as I drive. I'm doing this because I was waiting at the Edwards/Madison Ave intersection the other day and witnessed a high speed pursuit end at the brand new BP station.

I swore he was going to plow into me while I waited at the light. But instead a 3rd cop car cut him off at the exit. They all came running and screaming at the man with guns drawn. He didn't look too terrified or anything, kind of calm really. I still think about how cool of a picture that would have been.

Well, I'm off to work, with my camera in hand. I did hear that TI and his posse got into a gun battle last night on 75 and 4 of them are at my hospital. I'm wondering if I'll run into any of them today.

Business Card Ass

I was browsing the tavern wench blog earlier, and couldn't help but notice how guys use their business cards as part of their arsenal to pick up women in bars. It seems to happen more often when an older guy is trying to score a much younger chick, maybe because most younger guys don't carry business cards.

I don't have a business card. Maybe I could make my own though. "C. Breedlove" it would read. "CEO, Cardiology/Drag Racing Division"

Ok, so what happens to these cards after Mr. Important hands them out? Well I know the fate of 2 of them. The one in the above mention bog wound up in a pasta dish, the other one? Well it fell into my hands.

Mr. Kundrata made his play on a girl here at work. He evidently works for Delta and the government or something. He's looking for someone younger (in this case 15 years younger) to fly around the world and to bear his children, because as he puts it "There are too many risks in a woman his age bearing a child." Or, as I would put it, "They'll probably be retarded." His closer, "Oh, did I tell you I met the Pope one day?" Yeah, we googled him and in his little hometown paper there was a story on the local that met the Pope.

Well, she didn't call him. Sad, I know. So I took a pic of his card with what I think is a great improvement that will surely bag him the 20 something girl of his dreams.