"Only pussies ski," my friend dutifully informed me when I was trying to decide which to get at the rental booth at Perfect North Slopes. He didn't seem to care that 4 guys standing next to us were holding skis. My friends never cared much about offending other people, and it was one of the reasons I liked hanging out with them. I headed to the slopes, and left behind the booth that I determined smelled a lot like the Cat House at the zoo.
I took a few practice turns and decided that I was ready for bigger things. Besides, the bunny hill is at the bottom of the run, and I decided that it smelled like a septic tank down there. I had arrived at a dangerous point in the learning curve. Good enough to get up enough speed to hurt myself, not good enough to stay on my feet.
I was heading down the hill way too fast for my own good. I leaned back, trying to slow down, then WHAM, I slammed backward square on my ass and head. I slid for about 8 more feet, prone, dazed. I looked up at the stars. I heard my friends laughing at me from the ski lift overhead. "Whoooaa, was that Craig? Wow. Damn, that had to hurt, hahahaha."
I started to take inventory. My head was still attached, but hurting. My board was laying next to me. My hat was gone, and my jacket had come partially unzipped. I started to think about getting out of there before I got ran over when I looked up and saw a Mexican kid with my hat in his hands. "Is this yours?" he said. I just reached up and grabbed it. I think that I said thanks. He then spotted an empty mini liquor bottle and inquired whether that was mine too. I told him that it wasn't, but I'm sure that he didn't believe me.
I slowly gathered myself, and started snow boarding again. I didn't wreck hard the rest of the night. But my head and ass hurt for a week. And I'll always remember the Mexican kid returning my hat to me. And my friends laughing like jackals from the ski lift.
