Dear iPod Stealer,
Thanks for breaking the window of my truck. I sure hope that you didn't cut yourself on all of the glass. It was great driving to work in 18 degree weather. It was such a rush! I just imagined I was in the Iditorod Sled Dog race, mushing my loyal companions to work.
Oh, there is something I should let you know. That iPod's hard drive is shot. It will cost you $250 to fix. It's not normal for an iPod to click constantly and heat up to about 200 degrees. The people at The Apple Store will be glad to help you. Just ask them where the Genius Bar is. Oh, a genius is someone who is smart, or someone that you will never be confused for. If they ask for a receipt, just tell them you'll try to steal it later and bring it back. Also, you forgot the headphones, sportwatch, and expensive protein powder that were sitting right next to the broken iPod. Let me know if you are interested. Those items are related to exercise, so I'm starting to understand why you left them.
In parting, thanks again for letting me experience the rush of artic air on the way to work. And in case you are curious yes, my new video iPod is awesome and no you can't borrow it.
Craig
